are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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