Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize