everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just want to make out with him forever
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
