And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
