is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Why is there bacon in the couch?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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