I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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