Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
