so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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