Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
