I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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