she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sorry about my life...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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