Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
