I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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