Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
