i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
