Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
