Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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