Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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