I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
