Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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