"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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