a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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