You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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