She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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