DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
