is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
