at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize