My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
