You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
