so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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