jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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