You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
