I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
