I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
