im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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