He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
