Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Never joke about your clitoris.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
