Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
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