i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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