so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize