I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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