Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
