How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
