He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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