do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
