i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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