I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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