You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
