Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
