Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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