worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
