She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
