I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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