i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
