You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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