I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
