do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I pour the whiskey from now on
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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