i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
