So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Pants are for mortals
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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