I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
