Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
