Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
