That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
